BP

I have tried not to pay too much attention to the BP oil crisis, it overwhelms me. I have seen pictures and the occasional news report but I don't stay and linger long. It makes me kinda queasy... All I can do is keep coming back to the same question, "How can something like this happen?". In this day and age, when we have technology that allows us to watch a movie on our phone, when I can educate myself at the push of a button and within seconds have access to multiple resources, or when we can view our babies in 3 dimensions and have an operation while still in the womb, how can something like this happen? As I know you know, this list could go on and on. Technology is amazing...however it is still invented, manufactured, and sold for our convenience and for a profit. Large sums of money are not spent on 'just in case' or 'if all else should fail'. I do understand the bottom line. But what about doing it, just because it's the right thing to do? Even if it's costly?

In BP's case, before things were ever built, a solution and several backup plans should have already been in place, right? Maybe they had some, and they just backfired? I don't know... I'm sure there are things that I can't understand. But it seems like such a lack of foresight and possible integrity are involved. Are there not intelligent individuals that could have foreseen such a tragedy?

Not that long ago I watched a documentary on the Apollo flight to the moon, and was amazed and impressed at the amount of thinking, planning, integrity, and ingenuity that went into the preparation and the flight itself - which is ultimately what saved the astronauts lives. In the case of the BP spill, who was the person, or persons, that new this could be a potential problem, but either said nothing, or brushed it under the rug? Was the expense of the back up plans too much? And if so, did anyone stand up and say, "Well then, maybe we should not proceed???" Eleven human lives were lost, along with wildlife and livelihoods - life... gone. Just like that.

I am not usually one to get all wrapped up in preventative plans, or blaming people for unforeseen consequences. I sincerely believe that this way of thinking can create a crippling attitude of fear. However, it seems that even my small brain knows that water and oil don't mix... I'd like to think that I would have suggested, "We should not proceed..." Possibly I am thinking too highly of myself.

I am trying to have grace for the BP CEO and leadership. It seems I can be merciful and forgiving to a gossip, an addict, a prostitute, murderer, adulterer, lier, and cheat even if these things were done to me (in due time) ...but, for some reason when it involves a corporation or systemic wrongdoing - I truly struggle with extending any type of forgiveness. I understand, know first-hand how broken we all are. Yet for some reason when it, or 'we', become a company, a regime, a kingdom - I find this type of brokenness - greed, pride, and silence much more difficult to forgive. Maybe it's because a system looses it's 'face' and it's just too overwhelming; the intimacy of dealing with an individual is lost, because too many are involved? Maybe it's just the idea of misused power that affects me so, and it just messes with my sense of balance - of which I have a very high value. But of course grace isn't offered to equal the offense...at least not as Jesus gives it. It surpasses it. Grace does not equal balance. Does anyone else struggle in this way?

At this point, I think I have gotten to a place where I do not wish ill will towards BP and it's leadership. I don't wish for anyone to boycott, at least not yet. Essentially that hurts people not responsible for this and would potentially re-vicimtize the people that BP has already hurt. All I know for now is that I do hope that once the deluge of oil has been halted; that the truth will be revealed, appropriate accountability and consequences will be dealt, and fair restitution is given... and on an intimate level we will all see our own brokenness amidst this mess, be humbled, and learn something from it.

LOST

So, it's been a while.... since I've blogged and since the LOST Series Finale aired. It hasn't taken me that long to digest the ending, just that long to be motivated to devote energy to it. Needless to say, I was disappointed and I am ready to admit it. I've come no further than I did within days of viewing it and I refuse to watch it again. I've read a few reviews, but have mostly kept to myself about it. Apparently, much to my chagrin, I'm not one of those unruffled non-chalant people that can say "I don't need it to be resolved" - because, sigh..., I do. And the response "it's all about the characters, their growth and connections" is hogwash - for me anyway. I love a well developed character/ensemble as much as the next literary snob, but I am not convinced LOST accomplished this. I found the ending to be over-simplistic and cliche, and down-right sappy. And I usually love sappy!! I will not deny that I got teary when Sawyer and Juliet 'found' each other again, as well as some of the other reunion moments. I did. However, I am the tin-man and scarecrow combined. I have a heart and a brain that enjoys being used. And it enjoys watching creative types use theirs.

Maybe my brain is just too small. Or, my synapses never developed the neurological path that allows me to appreciate the story as intended. I am at a loss to see any genius or brilliance... other than I took the bait. I fell for it. Hook, line, and sinker. Congratulations on that, Adam and Eddy. I believed there was a purpose since I was told it had an "end". I believed there was going to be a "Sixth Sense" kind of moment at the end that would create this audible gasp around the world that I wanted to be a part of and it would make me want to watch the whole series again. Yet,...I liken the LOST fiasco to a lengthy relationship with a lot of hinting, flirting and teasing, all suggesting that there is something fan-TAS-tic behind the mystery, and then when you finally go on a date...nothin'. Fizizzle.

It seems as though the writers were like a couple of pre-teens that wanted to write a 'story', if you can call it that, that would include anything and everything their little brains could muster into it. It began with a crash, developed multiple characters with backstories, tossed in several random sci-fi elements with a dash of turns and kinks, black smoke, and a polar bear. But an ending? Ummmm.....

Well, anybody can do that. No, really. It's as if LOST was just this long conversation of "what if" stories that I often hear my 9 year old son and his friends pitch. They go back and forth with scenarios, trying to out-imagine each other, but as they attempt to finish them they have great difficulty making them satisfactorily plausible or they simply can't, and they move on to the next "what if?". But, even nine-year olds realize when it's going no-where, gets bored, and move on to their legos. Sure it was fun to imagine. To entertain some possibilities and to have the conversation can be dreamy. But to invest time, spend money on, draw millions into it, and market it as something other than it is? Well, I kinda feel exploited. ...Ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but you get the idea right? My conclusion is either they didn't have what it took to pull off a true ending and copped out, or it was all one big fat JOKE and they never intended to have an ending. Maybe it was just one big social experiment to see how long we would watch?

Again, I'd like to think that I don't need everything answered. I'm actually pretty sure that I don't. Geez, though, I need a context to let it all fall under so I can draw my own conclusions. I don't even believe I got that - other than they were on an island, oh and there were people and a plane. At what point they were living or deceased is in question - but yes, there were people there nonetheless, an island and a plane. Yep, of this I am sure. Ta-da! That's as far as I've gotten... seriously. Everything else is up for grabs.

Each time I attempt to answer one question, it causes everything else to change - and it's overwhelming. It's a jigsaw puzzle with 1000 pieces and 70% of the pieces are in my possession and 1/3 are connecting somewhere. 1/3 of the others don't seem to go anywhere. The ones that are connecting to another are intermittent. Some pieces can connect to multiple pieces, but not all of them at the same time. A majority of the edge pieces are completely missing, and there is no picture on the box to refer to. To top it off, I'm pretty sure there are additional puzzles mixed in. Sound impossible? Indeed.

Adam and Eddy, I didn't watch this show so I could go write my own. I watched it because I thought someone smarter than me was going to be able to make chaos, seemingly, make some sense in a magical way. I don't want to have to go back and re-watch the entire series to make sense of it. I don't believe it's possible here. I've already given you enough of my life. If you had done your job - I should have at least understood enough that I would want to go back and re-watch it. But I don't... so I won't. I will forever remain ______.