A while back someone asked about why it is that my children get along so well. I was a bit taken back and didn't really have a response. She proceeded to share about her sibling and the difficulties they had through the years and only recently were healing from. Her stories reminded me of something that we had been doing, but I had not thought much about recently.
It is frowned upon in our home for either of our kids to tattle on or boss each other around when they are behaving in a way that is breaking some rule. They have been encouraged to either talk to each other directly and assertively using "I" statements and owning their feelings when in conflict, or to trust that mommy and daddy will observe the negative behavior soon enough and will deal with it as we see fit. By no means do we pull this off perfectly, but they get the gist and are pretty easily correctible when they try to gossip or step in above their pay grade.
I can't take a whole lot of credit for this. I think I came across an article years ago and thought it made good sense. The bottom line is siblings need each other and the peer relationship needs to be protected. If you allow them 'adult' like responsibilities (even if what they are saying is true and good) it changes the relationship dynamic. Because of the ego, it seems to instantly disconnect them and cause fear, distrust, or at minimum a breakdown in communication, further judgement, shame ...and the list can go on and on.
Is this what God wanted from us in the beginning? Could part of the avoid eating from the tree of knowledge (of good/evil) thing be so as not to cause such disconnection with our fellow humans? Was that His way of saying, "I got this. This is not part of your job. Trust Me."?
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